Pull the lever

If you want put your arms around my shoulders
Use me as a post
I'd rather the pain from your weight crushing me into my grave
Dig me deeper
And when I'm wishing I'm the brim of the bottle on your lips
I'm also wanting to be your finger on the trigger
And when I'm wishing I'm the belt hugging your hips
I'm also wanting you to pull the lever and

Let me fall...

I'll ignore the signs that say I'm wanted
Do myself a favor
I will cut the cord that saves me from the ground
and walk away
And when I'm wishing I can spare you bitterness
I'm also wanting your insides to be corroding
And when I'm wishing you don't watch me cry a mess
I'm also wanting you see tears of blood flowing

My agony...